Why Are You Here?

We believe as Bill W, one of the co-founders of AA, “the sole purpose of {SAA} group is sobriety (freedom from{selfish sexual behavior}), through the teaching and practice of the 12 steps.”

The 12 steps are a program of LAST resort. It works best for those who clearly understand that they have no other options.

“Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.”
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 25 (affectionately known as the Big Book)

“If you are as seriously {sexually addicted} as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is NO return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: one was to go on the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help”
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 25

“ … to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is {a sex addict}of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to {sexually addicted} death or to live on a spiritual basis are not easy alternative to face.”
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 44

OK, if you think you have a problem and you want us to help, let's find out is you have a problem.

This is a paraphrase of the qualifying statement the Big Book:

“If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely or if when {acting out}, you have little control over the amount {acting out you do}, you are probably a {sex addict}.
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 44

All "hopeless" addictions are a two part illness. The first part is the physical aspect. It is usually chemical in nature which is the case in sex addiction. As mentioned before, there is a neuro-chemical element that scientists are still only beginning to understand. The nature of the chemistry involved in addiction is a loss of control. Once addictive levels of the chemicals are introduced, it produces a craving for more of these chemicals. We continue to act out to overcome this craving. The more we act out, the more we crave, and the whole process spirals out of control. This is the very essence of powerlessness. Once addictive levels of the chemical are introduced into our system, we have no power over the craving it produces. The extremity of our behaviors, the content of our behaviors, and the amount of time we engaged in them, grew continually worse over time. A commitment to limit our time in these activities or limiting their content or extremes was easily and often overshot. Left unchecked these behaviors led many of us to doing things we thought we would never do, and led us to places many of us didn't want to go. Some of us were fortunate enough to see our final destination before we had to actually experience it.

The only answer we have found to this problem of craving is to identify the addictive behaviors and abstain from them completely. If the physical aspect of the disease was our only problem then there would be no problem. We would simply realize that we could not control our behaviors once we began them, and then abstain. However, as hopeless sex addicts craving was not our only problem. We also deal with a mental side of this disease. We have a mental obsession that always led us back to acting out. This, coupled with natural human biological desire to procreate, made our situation impossible. Time after time we made excuse after excuse that took us right back to our addictive behaviors. We would often convince ourselves that we would control it this time. Many of us felt that after a period of abstinence that we didn’t have a problem any more and could therefore allow ourselves to engage in the lighter side of our behaviors again. Sometimes we lost touch with the severity of the consequences last time we acted out, believing that it wouldn’t be as bad the next time. Then we thought that if it were as bad that we endured it well enough the last time. Inevitably the consequences continued to worsen. Each time into the abyss we could not believe that we had fallen into the trap again. For a short period the pain of those consequences kept us on the straight and narrow, but eventually the pain lessened. With that the subtle thoughts on how we could control it next time would creep back. Our insanity was that we continued to entertain these thoughts with succeedingly more consciousness until we were back in our obsession again. Sometimes we would obsess about not acting out, but most of the time it failed us also. When it succeeded, it was still obsession, which is part of our insanity.

You can’t stop. You’re miserable. And, it’s only getting worse.

If you don’t find a way out of this insanity, can you see your misery one day becoming intolerable?

Can you see it will come to a point of desperation? Where will it end?
the jailhouse,
the nuthouse,
the grave,
or in sobriety and freedom that comes with working “the Steps.”

The “Primary Purpose Group” of Sex Addicts Anonymous of Dallas is a group of recovered sex addicts who will help you with your recovery.

Who Has Found The Answer?

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